Original
Western Astrology

April 2010 Songscopes

by Sherene Schostak March 23, 2010 01:33 PM EST
Aries
“Drown Soda” Hole

Who or what is taking you away from your life and your lies this time? Addictions are an ugly thing. The next thing you’ll know you’ll be tweeting nonsense like you know who. F*&k Minnesota, you have better cities to bomb. And who would want to sleep with the whole city of Ohio? Or Seattle for that matter? You’ve got better cities to put on your “to-do” list (thanks Betty White!)
 
Taurus
“The Way I Am” Eminem

Off topic: Why can’t Eminem write sick jams like this anymore? Take it from old school Slim Shady: do whatever bizarreness you must to release the tension that’s been building up during that horrendous Mars retrograde nightmare last winter: Zig Zags, weed, new tattoos--you name it! This song is a potent reminder of how your patience has been completely tried, tested and trashed. And you shouldn’t have to deal with those cocky Caucasians either (even if you happen to be one yourself). Grab your hair and tear it out — race, pace, stand, sit — but be grateful for everything that you “git”!

Gemini
“Sleepin’ Around” Sonic Youth

Okay, so there are at least two of you with libidinous needs to satisfy. No wonder you never feel like you’re lying when you look your lover straight in the eye declaring your undying devotion and loyalty. As long as the faithful twin responds, your integrity remains fully in tact. But this song is a reminder that at the end of the day, somehow you do still care what the neighbors think. That’s the funny and twisted thing about you Gemini -- you’re somehow so susceptible to the opinions of others. Maybe it’s cuz you adore gossip and know deep down that karma is a boomerang.
 
Cancer
“Polly” Nirvana

Clip your dirty wings if you must moonchild — but this insistence on hurting yourself has got to go. There are more interesting options to quell your boredom. Sure eating crackers, drinking water and putting out the blowtorch are fine “around the house” distractions. This song is a trip through the moody neediness of your melancholy mind. One minute you want to eat, the next you want to go for a ride, your back hurts, and then your whining for some help. Face it Cancer, you just want to be taken care of. And the will of instinct is pretty amazing (use it or lose it)!
 
Leo
I Don’t Wanna Cry” Mariah Carey

Sitting in silence, empty, with a million broken promises — sounds like the perfect fodder for your next soap-opera. The end of another painful love affair is no excuse for indulging twisted desires to listen to cheesy Mariah Carey songs or to smash glass objects. The point is that you’ve got to find a way to let go — Mimi is right on that count.  What keeps you hanging on despite the fact that everything you had is gone? This whole “swearing forever” thing is so 1990 something. Stop giving away your heart and soul or, worse yet, playing make believe.
 
Virgo
Isobel” Bjork

You love pitch-dark forests where you can truly be alone. When are you going to stand up and be proud of the fact that you’re truly married to your self? Sing this song 20-times a day if you must in order to get over that “heart full of dust feeling” or other such disappointments where e you can’t help but curse every flaw inherent to humans. Get out of your tower of steel and raise wonderful hell. Being alone is so under-rated, Virgo or not! Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na.

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Libra
“River” Joni Mitchell

If you could make a lot of money, you’d totally quit your crazy scene wouldn’t you? Forget the river and the skates — you just need an escape hatch or a hot partner you can run away with.  During your solar opposition, you’re always wishing you were anywhere but where you are, but it won’t last long. Thank the stars, Saturn is giving your sign a break starting April 7. You may not even have to skip town in order to find peace of mind or regain your balance this time.
 
Scorpio
“Rhinoceros” Smashing Pumpkins

What schemes do you have brewing for June, Scorpio? As the lyrics go: only you (she) know (s)! Actually other than that bit, the lyrics of this song make little sense  (unless your horoscope is loaded with Pisces/Neptune) but then again neither does your current state of mind. No wonder you’re holding out until June for the great reveal. Just promise you won’t try to date anyone that tweets weird religious preaching like Billy Corgan, who used to be cool. Why must you lie to any eyes —especially those bringing color after the Moon in June?
 
Sagittarius
“I Believe” Tears For Fears

It may be a bit sarcastic, it is written by a Virgo after all — but there are plenty of destiny references. Is it too late for anyone to believe? Perhaps the best lyrics: think for a moment, take your time so you don’t simply resign yourself to your fate. (Hence the handy little sax solo in the middle of the song). And don’t be afraid to hit a nerve — most importantly with yourself. But whatever you do, please drop the “it’s too late baby now it’s too late mantra”— caca!
 
Capricorn
“Sinner’s Prayer” Ray Charle
s
This song sounds like the very story of King Vikrama in the “Greatness of Saturn.” Once you have everything — wealth, the finest things and the next your on your knees praying for the gods to take mercy on you. It’s all about karma baby, and there’s just no getting around it when you’re born under the influence of the cosmic taskmaster, not to mention the archetype of the devil. It doesn’t help to be tempted at every turn — but free yourself from the chains of ignorance, greed, shame and materialism you must. Don’t sell your soul to anymore devils or you’ll be crying” Uncle” with Ray.
 
Aquarius
“Flood” Tool

The lyrics to this song are so damn good — if only we had the licensing to publish them full out for you. Your homework for this month: listen to this song ad finitum and get your paws on the lyrics from one of those annoying websites with the ringtone pop-up BS. The gist: the waters of the unconscious are coming to crumble your idea of what you once thought was solid ground. Divine Destiny has a way of making fools of us all. Has the truth come to punish or deliver you? Depends on how tightly you cling to your illusions.
 
Pisces
“In My Time of Dying” Led Zeppelin

On some level you’re in the midst of your own Judgment Day begging the angel Gabriel to blow his horn. When are you going to let go of your guilt complex — of course you never meant to do anyone no harm. But karma is physics after all, so unless the gods are listening and showering supreme grace upon you (and yeah they actually are now that Jupiter is in Pisces) take your bed and lie in it with complete surrender. The Lord will definitely bring you a new pair of wings as soon as you’re ready to stop playing the victim (heh-hem).
 
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