Istock 000010163014medium
Western Astrology

Christmas Presents for the 12 Signs I've Dated

by Matthew Currie December 08, 2009 05:48 PM EST
Christmas Presents for the 12 Signs I've Dated

Often this time of year, one sees articles along the lines of "Christmas Gifts For The 12 Signs." For those of you who have read my blog in the past, you know that I've used actual examples from my dating past to illustrate various points about compatibility. Rather than generic suggestions, here are gifts specifically for those 12 ladies. You know who you are ... and of course, my apologies.

Aries: Uhhh ... 

I never could give you the answers you wanted quickly enough for your liking. Hope that helps!

Taurus: A bicycle lock.

I know you were looking for a man who could always be relied on to stay predictably in place. Hope this helps!

Gemini: A parrot.

I could never keep up with your ideas and opinions fast enough. Maybe Mr. Crackers can do the job.

Cancer: A security blanket.

Lord knows it will be a lot more predictable (and comforting) than I could ever manage ...

Leo: A spotlight.

If all the world is a stage, then better lighting can't hurt.

Virgo: A bag of sugar.

Share a free sample2014 Jobs and Money Forecast.Master your money and attain success with this startlingly accurate forecast!

It will make the logic behind your decisions a little easier to swallow.

Libra: Arts and crafts supplies.

Dealing with human hearts often isn't pretty ... at least now you'll be able to accessorize them.

Scorpio: Inner Peace.

That's all you ever really needed but never knew how to ask for.

Sagittarius: A basketball.

As long as you and I are always bouncing all over the place, we might as well get some exercise out of it.

Capricorn: A bulletproof vest.

Nobody seems to understand your sensitivity ... maybe this will help make your point.

Aquarius: Lego blocks.

People are weird and unpredictable, but building spaceships and fire stations is fun!

Pisces: A near-death experience.

Finally, a chance to meet someone who really understands!

 
Got Questions? Need Answers? Get insight into what lies ahead with a Psychic Reading. Call 1-800-749-5790 right now!
 
Can't get enough astrology? Icon fb Like us on Facebook!
 
you may also be interested in...
Is Selena Gomez Losing It?
Khloe and French Montana: What's the Deal?
What Kind of Parents Will Mila and Ashton Be?
This Week's Cardinal Cross: Go For It!
What Sign Will Chelsea's Baby Be?
Cardinal Grand Cross Horoscopes This Week: Standing at the Crossroads
Our Dance with Power: Exalted Sun in Aries
Who's Next for Naya Rivera?
Miley: Antibiotics or Angst?
Yellow Aura Color Personalities
related articles
Embrace Your Demons as Pluto Retrogrades in Capricorn
Embrace Your Demons as Pluto Retrogrades in Capricorn

The planet of deep emotional cleansing is preparing for another round of retrograde teachings in the sign of Capricorn. Between... read more »

 
Venus in Pisces: Get Creative
Venus in Pisces: Get Creative

In 2014, April is one of the more dramatic months of the year. Thankfully, Venus in Pisces (April 5 through May 3) will offer... read more »

 
Secrets of the Seasons: Stay Focused -- All Year Long
Secrets of the Seasons: Stay Focused -- All Year Long

Each season corresponds to one of four ancient temperaments. The energy of each season is unique. Find out what the four seasons... read more »

 
New astro forecast horse 300x250

featured bloggers

D. Light

D. Light
10 Things about D. Light 1. Loves to eat cheeses with names she can't pronounce. 2. Thinks Ke$ha is adorable. 3. Had her first kiss at 17. 4. Once she had three dates in one day. 5. Once she didn't date anyone for an entire Saturn transit. (That's... read more

today's cosmic calendar
Today's Planetary Forecast

It would be great to report that the cosmos has finally come to its senses and that all is well and good -- with... read more »

the stars this week!
The Stars This Week

Complications! It's time for more changes as a Uranus-Pluto square on April 21 begins this challenging week. You may... read more »