Istock 000010163014medium
Western Astrology

Christmas Presents for the 12 Signs I've Dated



by Matthew Currie December 08, 2009 05:48 PM EST
Christmas Presents for the 12 Signs I've Dated

Often this time of year, one sees articles along the lines of "Christmas Gifts For The 12 Signs." For those of you who have read my blog in the past, you know that I've used actual examples from my dating past to illustrate various points about compatibility. Rather than generic suggestions, here are gifts specifically for those 12 ladies. You know who you are ... and of course, my apologies.

Aries: Uhhh ... 

I never could give you the answers you wanted quickly enough for your liking. Hope that helps!

Taurus: A bicycle lock.

I know you were looking for a man who could always be relied on to stay predictably in place. Hope this helps!

Gemini: A parrot.

I could never keep up with your ideas and opinions fast enough. Maybe Mr. Crackers can do the job.

Cancer: A security blanket.

Lord knows it will be a lot more predictable (and comforting) than I could ever manage ...

Leo: A spotlight.

If all the world is a stage, then better lighting can't hurt.

Virgo: A bag of sugar.

Share a free sample Personal Astrology Profile. What makes you unique? Discover a snapshot of the cosmos at your birth and the forces that shape you.

It will make the logic behind your decisions a little easier to swallow.

Libra: Arts and crafts supplies.

Dealing with human hearts often isn't pretty ... at least now you'll be able to accessorize them.

Scorpio: Inner Peace.

That's all you ever really needed but never knew how to ask for.

Sagittarius: A basketball.

As long as you and I are always bouncing all over the place, we might as well get some exercise out of it.

Capricorn: A bulletproof vest.

Nobody seems to understand your sensitivity ... maybe this will help make your point.

Aquarius: Lego blocks.

People are weird and unpredictable, but building spaceships and fire stations is fun!

Pisces: A near-death experience.

Finally, a chance to meet someone who really understands!

 
Find your path to fulfillment with a Free Psychic Reading. Call 1-800-749-5790 right now!
 
Can't get enough astrology? Icon fb Like us on Facebook!
 
you may also be interested in...
The Stars This Week: September 29 - October 5, 2014
The Stars This Week: September 22-28, 2014
The Stars This Week: September 15-21, 2014
The Stars This Week: September 8-14, 2014
Monthly Summary for October 2014
Monthly Summary for September 2014
Monthly Summary for August 2014
Monthly Summary for July 2014

Astrology On the Go

ASTROLOGY NEWSLETTERS

Wake Up to Your Horoscope
in Your Inbox

Start your day with a dose of the cosmos -- get your daily horoscope delivered straight to your email!

related articles
 
Listen to Your Lover as Retrograde Mercury Conjuncts Venus in Libra
Listen to Your Lover as Retrograde Mercury Conjuncts Venus in Libra

Taking time to listen to your lover -- really listen -- can be an incredible aphrodisiac, especially... read more »

 
Sweetness and Light as Venus Enters Libra
Sweetness and Light as Venus Enters Libra

"I am fascinated by what is beautiful, strong, healthy, what is living. I seek harmony."... read more »

 
Full "Blood Moon" Eclipse in Aries: Don't Deny Your Desire
Full "Blood Moon" Eclipse in Aries: Don't Deny Your Desire

"To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on... read more »

 
New astro forecast horse 300x250

featured bloggers


Kosmic Kelly


Kosmic Kelly
A full-time astrologer and writer since 2002, Kelly offers astrology chart consults to individuals, couples and families around the globe. You can read Kelly's columns, articles and horoscopes in a variety of international magazines, including the... read more

Astrology.com videos
3832324625001
3832315717001
3832329303001
3832329328001
3832328796001
3832324705001
3832328766001
3832329343001
3832329820001
3832328830001
3832328830001
3832335627001
3832329831001
ast:div-chinese:vid:asdhlovescope
Today's Cosmic Calendar
 
Today's Planetary Forecast

Welcome to a major transition day for many reasons. As already indicated in this calendar yesterday, the Sun merges with... read more »

 
The Stars This Week!
 
The Stars This Week

A Fresh Start! In this dynamic week, you'll make the most progress if you leave old ways behind! First, on October... read more »