Well, well, well ... you've come to eggsactly the right place to find some magical ways to wangle everlasting beauty, personal protection and a whole lot of powerful cleansing. And you can accomplish this by simply using the incredible and -- if you feel like it -- edible egg!
Get yourself a half dozen eggs and hard-boil them. Once they're all cooked and ready to be eaten, do whatever you want with them. You can go the saintly route and decorate them for a fun Easter egg hunt ... or you can bedevil them with a bit of mayonnaise, salt and paprika instead.
But before you either don your bonnet or bring your devilish dish to your neighbor's brunch, you have to look your best -- literally. So, you're going to use that same water in which you boiled those eggs, because it's now considered both magical and powerful. Let the water cool, then bathe in it for at least 20 minutes, being sure to splash some of it over your face as well. This bath is believed to bring youth, vigor, vim and -- what else -- beauty!
Now, if all that irresistible beauty gets you a stalker, then let's go ahead and crack the code of using eggs for personal protection. For this effort, you'll need to carefully poke a hole in the top of a hard-boiled egg, draining the inside before cleaning it well. Make sure the egg is completely dry before adding enough blades of fresh green grass to fill the inside. Seal it closed with either red plastic wrap or even red wax, then leave the stuffed egg anywhere inside your kitchen for either nine, 27 or 49 days. This is an ancient recipe for ridding yourself of any bad luck, unfortunate circumstances and/or unwanted events.
So now that you're looking ab fab and nothing can do you any harm, let's use some eggs to cleanse your space, in order to allow all the wonderful and new to come in. Place as many eggs as there are people living in your home in a bowl of spring water under your bed. Leave them there for one week. If they develop a foul odor before the week is up, remove and replace them with new egg(s) immediately.
Do not eat these eggs -- or even crack their shells -- while they're still inside your home. Since ancient times, eggs have been known to be highly absorbent and capable of removing any and all negativity from a space, so they must be treated with kid gloves upon their removal. Simply place them in a brown paper bag and discard them somewhere outside your home.
Now you're pretty, protected and filled with optimism, opportunity and potential! So go on now -- just try these cures. Don't be a chicken! It's time to feather your nest with the three great blessings of Feng Shui: Health, Happiness and Prosperity!