This is the sequel blog entry to: Finding Father: Where is Dad In Your Horoscope?
When I first started to learn astrology, my teacher at the time shocked me by saying things about my relationship with my mother that I did not consider accurate. Her words implied that my mother was not the gentle, loving person that I felt I knew so well but rather someone who was controlling and dominant. In fact, her words upset me so much that I almost stopped my studies of astrology there and then. Her comments seemed so ridiculous and inaccurate that I found it hard to take seriously anything else she was saying on the subject. Indeed, to this day (and many years have passed since that lesson) I still disagree with her interpretation of this aspect of my chart, but now I have the understanding to know WHY I disagree with her interpretation.
The fact is, the person she was referring to was not actually my mother at all. It was one of my grandmother's.
I mention this to highlight a very important point. Do not assume when you are looking at your own chart, or that of someone else's, that you have all the facts in front of you. Often in a horoscope, and particularly when you are looking at a person's family, more than one person can be represented.
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In traditional astrology, the mother or mother figure is represented by the Moon, 4th House, and these days, a lot of astrologers also like to include the North Node as well. Yet the Moon is not just your mother, but any female figure in your life and the 4th House is not always the best representation of who your mum actually is / was. In fact, sometimes the 10th House (traditionally interpreted as representing the father) provides us with better clues. For example, not all mothers are home-loving and / or are able to fulfill our emotional needs. In fact, some mothers are extremely efficient at what they do but are very slow to offer emotional comfort whilst some mothers are absent, either literally or figuratively.
The only way to be really sure that you have identified the right person is, in my opinion, to ask lots of questions of yourself and to be honest in your answers. Yes, you may have two parents but were you raised by them? For some people, an older sibling may have had a more parental influence on their lives than their actual parents.
And always remember to look at the other planets that are in contact with your moon or north node. Do you have the Sun trine Moon (suggests your parents were fairly harmonious), or do you have Saturn square Moon? (suggests a controlling or dominant parent). What about Pluto opposite North Node (suggests emotional struggles or a controlling parent)? These types of planetary interactions give us a lot of clues!