Dear Female Readers: Thank you for dropping by. Your readership is always appreciated, but today I want to talk to the men out there.
(Pause until all the women leave the room.)
Okay guys, listen up: We have a lot of work to do. Give me a few minutes of your time, and I'll make it worth your while. Beer and nachos will be served afterwards.
You may have noticed by now that, for whatever reason, women are generally more "into" astrology than guys are. For many men, astrology is kind of a "chick thing." You know, like Sandra Bullock movies or "Sex And The City" -- things we men find easy, convenient or even preferable to ignore outright.
Dave, get away from the nachos. I said "afterwards."
The truth is, though: There really is a Battle of the Sexes going on, and by and large, men are ignoring their opponent's strategies. No wonder we're doing so badly at it!
Generally, it's been my experience that men and women really are more alike than they are different. It's just that women use slightly different mating strategies. Women enjoy looking for subtle little hints and patterns in a man's behavior as to whether or not he's worth the time. And I think the reason why astrology is generally more popular with women than men is that astrology provides vital clues as to what a person is really like ... not just right now, but in the long term. And let's be honest ... women are usually a little more focused on the long term than we are.
Dave, put the nachos down. I'm not done yet.
So, I recommend you guys learn astrology for the following practical, no-nonsense reasons:
1. It will help you understand what she's thinking when you tell her you're a Pisces, or whatever.
2. It will help you understand her better, and what to expect when she says she's a Gemini, or whatever.
3. It will give you a basis for conversation when you meet a woman. Having an extra one of those is always good.
4. It will show that you care enough about people to make the effort to understand how they really work.
Trust me guys ... I know what I'm talking about. I wrote a whole book about astrology, love and seduction ... Google me, you'll find it. And so far, women are responding well to it, and buying it.
Finally: The most important reason of all why men should take an interest in astrology:
5. Ever notice how many women hang out in the metaphysics section at book stores? There you have it.
Good hunting, gentlemen.
And Dave ... yes, now it's nachos time.