Gemini & Siblings

Last weekend my younger sister and I were going through the treasure that I brought back from cleaning out my recently departed grandmother’s house. I pulled out a picture of me, as a two year old, cute, smiling, with full head of curly brown hair – a sore spot for my sister as my grandmother had an identical picture hanging side by side of her taken at that same age in that same dress –except- in her picture she has an adorable snaggle toothed smile plastered on her face- and mere suggestive wisps for hair – tragic for a Leo Rising. “I looked like a boy. You were always the pretty one,” she mocked. “Cute, cute, cute...”

 When we consider primary relationships that will later influence our adult relationships, we think of parents. But sibling relationship can as easily influence dynamics with our spouse, friends - all of our relationships. Gemini is the sign of the Twins and the Twins are known for their insatiable curiosity, possessing a relentless hunger for diversity of experience --scatteredness, inefficiency being uncomfortable side effects of living a varied life. The sibling belongs to the archetype of Gemini, too – who else teaches us that we are not the center of our universe, if not our siblings? Think sibling rivalry to get an idea about what’s on that lesson plan:  good versus evil, ugly versus pretty, me (perfect) you (not) or vice versa, smart versus dumb- all that fun stuff is built into the archetype of the Twins. Our sibling(s) are our very first mirror(s), a mirror we will gaze at and realize – hey, I’m not the only one out here! Duality ensues. Jealousies start, plots begin and “that’s not fair!” resounds. Befriend them (as your mini-me), idealize them, or secretly plot their downfall, none of us are immune to the mythic Sibling.

When my sister and I get together she makes me laugh till I cry. She’s got great wit (she’s a Gemini). But at different times of life I’ve been guilty of wanting my sister to be my Ideal Other Self. I have Sagittarius on my Third House cusp, Jupiter in my Fourth and North Node in Capricorn (ruled by Saturn in Gemini conjunct Cancer South Node in the Ninth House). For a long time she was ‘guilty’ of not cooperating with my responsibility script about who a sister ‘should’ be-- mainly loyal to some kind of tribal bond where we’d overcome our family history with the family she and I created. How did she feel about that plan? Um, she was busy. When I realized that what I wanted from her, I was happy to give to her unconditionally, I accepted what she could give, and then got on with my own life. Then she sought me out, and we began to heal where we had been fractured.

For a long time it seemed that when one of us was vanilla the other was chocolate. Me, the intense emotional one always looking into the depths and actively living in/healing through the family shadow. She, the light, effervescent fun one, maddeningly & Mercurially slipping through the cracks of family karma. She with a mainstream corporate career; I could never find out how to make that formula work. It’s uncanny how the picture emerges in the birthchart – she has a Moon Pluto North Node conjunction in Libra in the Third House, and indeed she experienced difficult emotions around my various Plutonian abductions into the underworld (health problems, near death etc). Yet as we’ve individuated we’re less polarized. I’ve helped her through a number of healing crises; she has become my tribe. And while duality may be inherent to the sibling relationship, if we’re stuck in opposite camps it could be rewarding to do some healing work on our self and heal that bond. Because over time, our siblings can become some of our most powerful allies in life, especially if a parent has died- as ours did – or the family is stressed.

Yes, she still razzes me about my Gerber baby good looks. But I don’t mind. She matured into a gorgeous swan with her own beautiful style.

Come back for part 2, Sibling Signatures in the Birth chart