How women screw up
Western Astrology

How Women Sabotage Relationships



by Jessica Shepherd October 02, 2009 09:13 PM EST
How Women Sabotage Relationships
There once was a story about a beautiful woman who met a gorgeous guy (my husband) who was really attracted to and into her, and how she screwed it up. What's the moral of the story? We all want to be loved, and if we don't have that self-love authentically inside, we'll do what it takes to get it, even at the cost of a potentially loving connection. Without being grounded in our own authenticity and self-esteem (the source of real confidence) we can sabotage a really great relationship.
 
How else do we mess up? Once we master being confident in who we are - simple gender differences. We treat men like they're women. Based on our feelings about our self which are complex, and how we think other people should respond to us, we will judge a man's behavior by our own self-perceptions and from our feminine perspective. We're super in touch with our feminine feeling-side, like a hypnotic suggestion she whispers in our psyche: I want to be loved and I want you to feel loved, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I'm super in touch with my emotions. Problems can happen when we're out of touch with our own animus, or masculinity. And problems can happen when we assume that other people, including men, are just as in touch with their emotions as we are.

In a twist on the last example, here's how it goes down: a girl friend of ours, spying a hot picture of Angelina Jolie on a magazine cover, asks us in a tentative insecure voice, 'do you think she's pretty?' Now, as a woman we immediately register the nuances of this question and go on emotional red alert. We will say something to make our friend feel better. We'd probably avoid answering the question honestly. But ask a guy? He'd just tell the truth. 'She's one smoking super hot mama!' Our woman might feel rejected by this comment, dwell on his insensitivity, and maybe even ruin a good thing. Yet he was just being honest.


Share a free sample Year of the Horse Financial Forecast. How will you fare financially during the Year of the Horse? Find out today!

Mistaking their sex for ours happens over and over in different variations. One reader talked about a friend of hers who mistook sex (Mars) for intimacy (Venus) was shocked when her boyfriend didn't honor the level of care she thought was appropriate to their close-ness, with a specific birthday gift. In addition to mistaking sex with intimacy, she was also expecting him to do exactly what she would do. What woman would neglect a birthday wish?!

Venus is identified with others, the element water (emotions) so the feminine is comfortable in the realm of emotions and sensitivity. This makes her exceptional at adapting to who others need us to be, and we do this all the time (and if you don't think we do this, you're just not being honest!). Mars is identified with the self, the element fire (mental instinct) so the masculine is comfortable in the realm of thought and independence. This makes him exceptional at being independent, i.e. not adapting to others. Together, it's a beautiful dance of balance -- imagine what would happen if the world were missing either.

So in varying degrees 'tis true: men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Yet as nothing in life is so neatly divided down the middle- there are super-sensitive men and exceptionally ballsy women. The goal of being an integrated human being is possessing both, within the self, in a balanced way. The interplay between the two forces is the timeless relationship dance of the sexes, each intent on giving each other what the other doesn't possess, balancing receptivity and emotions with independence and rationality and vice versa.

We just need to remember that the feminine response is different from the masculine, and when viewed through that self-perception specific to the female mind, women make unfair judgments about men. It's why women wonder, 'He was my prince charming until he said or did that, what was up with that?' And it's why many a man has that thought -- 'Well, everything started out perfect and then she changed.'
 
Find your path to fulfillment with a Free Psychic Reading. Call 1-800-749-5790 right now!
 
Can't get enough astrology? Icon fb Like us on Facebook!
 
you may also be interested in...
The Stars This Week: July 28 - August 3, 2014
The Stars This Week: June 23-29, 2014
The Stars This Week: May 19-25, 2014
The Stars This Week: April 14-20, 2014
Monthly Summary for June 2014
Monthly Summary for July 2014
Monthly Summary for August 2014
Monthly Summary for September 2014

Astrology On the Go

ASTROLOGY NEWSLETTERS

Wake Up to Your Horoscope
in Your Inbox

Start your day with a dose of the cosmos -- get your daily horoscope delivered straight to your email!

related articles
 
Get Wild & Adventurous in Bed as Mars enters Sagittarius!
Get Wild & Adventurous in Bed as Mars enters Sagittarius!

Mars is the planet in charge of action and attraction -- he’s the masculine force in the... read more »

 
Are You with the "Wrong" Sign -- But Madly in Love?
Are You with the "Wrong" Sign -- But Madly in Love?

There are accepted matches in the astrology books that make for good romances. But often people in... read more »

 
Relationships Get Sexy & Dramatic! Venus Squares Mars
Relationships Get Sexy & Dramatic! Venus Squares Mars

Meow! Mars, the planet of initiation and action, has been in sultry Scorpio since late July, waking... read more »

 
New astro forecast horse 300x250

featured bloggers


Jo-Anne Penn-Kast


Jo-Anne Penn-Kast
Greetings! My name is Jo-Anne Penn-Kast, but you can call me Jo. I’m not a psychic (I don’t think), nor a mystical guru, and I don’t do card tricks. In fact, I’m more than usually ordinary. But I do know some extraordinary... read more

Astrology.com videos
3778153277001
3778153283001
3778153318001
3778158122001
3778166294001
3778153335001
3778158127001
3778151831001
3778166306001
3778158145001
3778176088001
3778176088001
3778166315001
ast:div-chinese:vid:asdhlovescope
Today's Cosmic Calendar
 
Today's Planetary Forecast

The universe is much more serene today than yesterday. Nevertheless, you need to be on your toes in the early going as... read more »

 
The Stars This Week!
 
The Stars This Week

Pay Attention! Someone has important news for you as Mercury conjuncts the north node on September 16! Then, be sure to... read more »