Screen shot 2011 03 22 at 3.35.13 pm
Western Astrology

I Love You, With All My Heart

by Heather the CosmosGal March 22, 2011 06:36 PM EST
I Love You, With All My Heart
Full moon's often bring endings to most people's lives. In my case, it was the ending of my grandmother Edith's life as she took her last breath during the peak of the full moon in Virgo this past Saturday. When I got news that Thursday prior, I immediately booked a red eye to arrive the follow day. My family told me that it wasn't worth trying to fly from the west coast to the east coast because they had taken the ventilator out at that point. The doctor said she would only last a few hours after. I refused to believe this would be the case. Even so, I would need to be with my family to support them and attend the funeral. I prayed the whole time on the plane and brought a heart-shaped pillow she had given me many years ago that said, "I love you."  I immediately landed and hopped in a rental car, drove an hour from the airport to the hospital. No one knew I was coming. I simply just reacted and did what I felt my heart said to. I walked in and my Aunt Susan was so shocked to see me. I immediately went to my grandmother and kissed her forehead. I thanked her for waiting for me. Even though she was heavily sedated with morphine, I knew on some deeper level her soul knew I was there. I placed the pillow by her head thinking that perhaps she would see it on her way out of this world. Aunt Susan came to hug me and said she had officially died the night before for two minutes after midnight. The nurses and my Aunt were both shocked that she came back after having flat-lined that long. This was exactly the time I started praying to the Angels to help keep her alive so that I could say my goodbyes. I didn't stop praying until I got to her side. From there, I called my father who had not seen her yet at that point. I was unsure if he was even going to come since I knew it may be too hard for him to see her like that. There was one point I thought she would leave without him having a chance to say his goodbyes, so I immediately got on the phone and had him talk to her. As I held the phone up to her ear, I could hear him saying, "Hi, mom, this is Richard. I love you, mom," just then, her eyes opened wide and the sound of her breath was more erratic. Again, I do believe that somehow she knew it was him even though she wasn't able to speak and was heavily sedated. I asked my Aunt if my grandfather had come to see her yet. She said, "No, I don't think you're grandfather is going to come. It's way too hard for him. I doubt he'll come." I refused to believe this. I knew in my heart that he needed to come and say his goodbyes before she left or he would regret it forever. My grandmother had severe Alzheimer's, and it had been months and months since he went to the caregivers to see her. At this point, he wasn't doing well himself and was admitted to a life care center earlier that same week. Not saying goodbye would burden his mind, body, and soul and make him even more ill. I just knew I needed to call him to bring him over there, and I kept telling my Aunt just that. Just then, he called the hospital looking for his son, because he expressed he wanted to see her. Susan was shocked that he changed his mind. The next day my grandfather came in to see her. He said his last goodbyes for a couple hours and left. I then painted my grandmother's nails one last time as she lay there dying. One thing she loved was having her nails done. Especially bright colors like hot pink and red, although my grandfather never let her wear colors like that because he thought they were too racy. I did what she would have wanted, however, and painted them hot pink! A few hours later, she took her last breath. I do believe that she was waiting for him to come. She had never left her side since age sixteen. Of course she wouldn't leave this world without feeling his presence one last time. Later that night, I slept in her bed since I needed to take care of things at the house the next day. I started to fall asleep, but opened my eyes and looked at the door for some reason unbeknownst to me. When I did, what did I see hanging on the back of the door? The matching pillow she had bought when she bought my heart shaped pillow that said, "I love you." I went over in shock because I couldn't believe she still had hers too. I picked it up of the door and turned the light on. It read, "With All My Heart." I do love you grandma, with all my heart, and I pray that the Angels are all around you keeping you safe in heaven.

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Sherene Schostak

Sherene Schostak
Sherene Schostak is a Jungian psychotherapist, author and metaphysician who specializes in helping creative artists transform their addictions and blocks. She has been in private practice in New York City for the past 13 years consulting, writing and... read more

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