Original
Western Astrology

January Love: It's Not Complicated, It's Just Hard

by Jessica Shepherd January 08, 2011 02:16 PM EST
January Love: It's Not Complicated, It's Just Hard

January is a seriously heavy month. Obligations loom larger, and resources fewer. In some area of each of our lives the pressure is on: to be better prepared, have a plan, create more structure, or change something that isn’t working. The good news is, the same energies urging us to buckle down and get serious also supply us with the ability to clearly, realistically see and name some cold hard truths. With the ruling planet of Capricorn, Saturn, transiting Libra, we’re more clearly able to see the truth of our relationships, and perhaps most importantly, realize that changing old patterns of heart also means being insanely practical about the whole matter.

And the heart is not known for its practicality. Love is absurdly impractical!!!

The other night I was talking with a girlfriend when she told me she had recently experienced a real sweet heartfelt connection with a guy. Yay! Yet, when she expressed interest in quickly moving forward romantically- he went into some kind of commitment phobic traumatic response. The details of it really don’t matter, but his response, and how she would respond him. He let her know that he was unable to respond to her in the way she wanted him to. Boom, there it was. Because she really felt something was there, she attempted to be 'friends' and with the mutual sexual energy running between them, it was quickly clear that wouldn't work. What to do?

Many of us are programmed to believe that when we express a vital need or desire, our romantic partner is supposed to provide it for us. But often, and most especially when we’re trying to establish grounds for a relationship, we find out they are simply unable to meet our needs. Guess what? That doesn’t mean we should try to ‘get’ what we desire by attempting to be who they want us to be (like have an ‘open relationship’, ugh) or pressure them. What it means is they’re unable to respond to our request - for whatever reason. They may be busy, or have their own stuff to take care of. They may not know how to meet us, or care to. They may simply not be capable of responding in that way.  Responsibility = the ability to respond.

Share a free sampleThe Goddess Within.Express your potential and desires from a woman's point of view. Learn about your personal power and how to express it!

People often say ‘it’s complicated’ when talking about their relationships. Relationships aren’t complicated -they’re just difficult! It’s difficult to see other’s limits, acknowledge they're unable to respond in the way we want. It’s hard to recognize they're not capable of meeting our heart’s decent and good request, but that doesn’t mean we should abandon our request, for if we don't honor our heart's desire, why would we expect to find someone who magically will? Sometimes this means being alone until we find someone who can respond -which is hard (note: researching this article, I e-searched my LAN manuscript with the search term 'hard' and got a gazillion references)!

And, if we’re in a relationship, we must ask our partner to respond to our need to the best of their ability - but they can always say ‘no’. It's always only our responsibility to attempt to respond to our self-requests. We may even be surprised to discover that what we've been asking from them, we need to learn how to do for our self. 

January is the month we all more clearly see our limits; then to follow a practical strategy for changing old patterns of heart-wrenching pain. For my friend this meant that instead of calling him, ie staying in contact in hopes of changing his mind, she would 'sit on my hands' and hold out for someone who is capable of meeting her halfway. That could be him. Or not. It's really not up to us, is it? Granted, it may be painful to do these old patterns differently, but in the long run it’s far less painful than cleaning up the mess of a broken heart because we refused to see what is. 

Would you like to attract soulful, lasting love into your life? I did, and I'll tell you how.

 

 
Got Questions? Need Answers? Get insight into what lies ahead with a Psychic Reading. Call 1-800-749-5790 right now!
 
Can't get enough astrology? Icon fb Like us on Facebook!
 
you may also be interested in...
Can Kate Upton Make it on the Big Screen?
Planetary Transits Report for the Waning Moon Cycle {April 15th to 29th}
Jyotish Horoscopes for the Waning Moon Cycle {April 15th to 29th}
Who is Don Draper Undressed?
Total Lunar Eclipse: How to Watch Tonight's Blood Moon
How to Thrive at the Crossroads
Libra's Lunar Eclipse Love Potion Horoscopes
April’s Crazy Skies
Will Amanda Stay Stable?
Explore Your Dreams: April 2014's Grand Cardinal Cross
related articles
Your Best Budget Tip -- by the Signs
Your Best Budget Tip -- by the Signs

Managing money is a skill you need for life. Astrology can provide clues to help you get on top of your budget. If you’re... read more »

 
Mercury Enters Aries: Get to the Point Quickly
Mercury Enters Aries: Get to the Point Quickly

"The wisest are the most annoyed at the loss of time." -- Dante Alighieri Now that the communication planet is finally... read more »

 
New Moon in Aries: Initiating New Initiatives
New Moon in Aries: Initiating New Initiatives

The fiercest new Moon of the year arrives on Sunday, March 30. You’ll want to catch the fire of this bold, bright lunation,... read more »

 
New astro forecast horse 300x250

featured bloggers

Chani Nicholas

Chani Nicholas
True to her Fourth House Uranus, Chani grew up in an unconventional hippie community in the Rocky Mountains of British Columbia, Canada. It's therefore no surprise that she found yoga at age 11, had her first astrology reading at 12 and was... read more

today's cosmic calendar
Today's Planetary Forecast

It is time to breathe an enormous sigh of relief. If you are reading these words and taking some comfort from them, then... read more »

the stars this week!
The Stars This Week

Disagreements! This week heats up right away with Mercury's square to Jupiter, conjunction to Uranus, and square to... read more »