Original
Western Astrology

January Love: It's Not Complicated, It's Just Hard

by Jessica Shepherd January 08, 2011 02:16 PM EST

January is a seriously heavy month. Obligations loom larger, and resources fewer. In some area of each of our lives the pressure is on: to be better prepared, have a plan, create more structure, or change something that isn’t working. The good news is, the same energies urging us to buckle down and get serious also supply us with the ability to clearly, realistically see and name some cold hard truths. With the ruling planet of Capricorn, Saturn, transiting Libra, we’re more clearly able to see the truth of our relationships, and perhaps most importantly, realize that changing old patterns of heart also means being insanely practical about the whole matter.

And the heart is not known for its practicality. Love is absurdly impractical!!!

The other night I was talking with a girlfriend when she told me she had recently experienced a real sweet heartfelt connection with a guy. Yay! Yet, when she expressed interest in quickly moving forward romantically- he went into some kind of commitment phobic traumatic response. The details of it really don’t matter, but his response, and how she would respond him. He let her know that he was unable to respond to her in the way she wanted him to. Boom, there it was. Because she really felt something was there, she attempted to be 'friends' and with the mutual sexual energy running between them, it was quickly clear that wouldn't work. What to do?

Many of us are programmed to believe that when we express a vital need or desire, our romantic partner is supposed to provide it for us. But often, and most especially when we’re trying to establish grounds for a relationship, we find out they are simply unable to meet our needs. Guess what? That doesn’t mean we should try to ‘get’ what we desire by attempting to be who they want us to be (like have an ‘open relationship’, ugh) or pressure them. What it means is they’re unable to respond to our request - for whatever reason. They may be busy, or have their own stuff to take care of. They may not know how to meet us, or care to. They may simply not be capable of responding in that way.  Responsibility = the ability to respond.

Share a free sample Friends and Lovers. Are you two best friends and lovers? Try a free sample of this powerful reading today!

People often say ‘it’s complicated’ when talking about their relationships. Relationships aren’t complicated -they’re just difficult! It’s difficult to see other’s limits, acknowledge they're unable to respond in the way we want. It’s hard to recognize they're not capable of meeting our heart’s decent and good request, but that doesn’t mean we should abandon our request, for if we don't honor our heart's desire, why would we expect to find someone who magically will? Sometimes this means being alone until we find someone who can respond -which is hard (note: researching this article, I e-searched my LAN manuscript with the search term 'hard' and got a gazillion references)!

And, if we’re in a relationship, we must ask our partner to respond to our need to the best of their ability - but they can always say ‘no’. It's always only our responsibility to attempt to respond to our self-requests. We may even be surprised to discover that what we've been asking from them, we need to learn how to do for our self. 

January is the month we all more clearly see our limits; then to follow a practical strategy for changing old patterns of heart-wrenching pain. For my friend this meant that instead of calling him, ie staying in contact in hopes of changing his mind, she would 'sit on my hands' and hold out for someone who is capable of meeting her halfway. That could be him. Or not. It's really not up to us, is it? Granted, it may be painful to do these old patterns differently, but in the long run it’s far less painful than cleaning up the mess of a broken heart because we refused to see what is. 

Would you like to attract soulful, lasting love into your life? I did, and I'll tell you how.

 

 
Find your path to fulfillment with a Free Psychic Reading. Call 1-800-749-5790 right now!
 
Can't get enough astrology? Icon fb Like us on Facebook!
 
you may also be interested in...
Get an Applause-Worthy Fall Wardrobe: Five Jupiter-in-Leo Fashion Trends
Is Gisele the Next Big Celebrity Entrepreneur?
Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence: Can It Be?
New Moon Wisdom + Creative Ritual
This Week's Horoscopes: New Moon Manifestations
Explore Your Dreams: Virgo New Moon 2014
How Will Baby Girl Aguilera Blend In?
Derek Hough on "Nashville": Sink or Swim?
Will Michael Strahan Get Back with Nicole?
This Week's Horoscopes: Find Your Balance
related articles
Relationships Get Sexy & Dramatic! Venus Squares Mars
Relationships Get Sexy & Dramatic! Venus Squares Mars

Meow! Mars, the planet of initiation and action, has been in sultry Scorpio since late July, waking up our libidos. Venus, the... read more »

 
How to Avoid Scaring Him Off
How to Avoid Scaring Him Off

Turn-offs. We've all got 'em. You know what you hate, and you really can't help it. Maybe it's beer breath or... read more »

 
Venus Enters Leo: Dramatic Love
Venus Enters Leo: Dramatic Love

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." -- Robert A. Heinlein When... read more »

 
New astro forecast horse 300x250

featured bloggers

Jo-Anne Penn-Kast

Jo-Anne Penn-Kast
Greetings! My name is Jo-Anne Penn-Kast, but you can call me Jo. I’m not a psychic (I don’t think), nor a mystical guru, and I don’t do card tricks. In fact, I’m more than usually ordinary. But I do know some extraordinary... read more

Astrology.com videos
3747413991001
3747438585001
3747447068001
3747438635001
3747444480001
3747444486001
3747447575001
3747448901001
3747453937001
3747447606001
3747447589001
3747453947001
3747453947001
ast:div-chinese:vid:asdhlovescope
today's cosmic calendar
Today's Planetary Forecast

Easy does it! Yesterday's lunar meandering from Scorpio to Sagittarius may have given you the impression that happy days... read more »

the stars this week!
The Stars This Week

New Opportunities! Focus on improving your relationships this week once a pair of helpful transits come your way: The... read more »