The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe Malfunction

Dear D. Light,
I have never been so humiliated. My friend, or should I say my frenemy, just posted a picture on a social networking site of me looking super slutty and actually quite FAT in a dress that just didn't fit me right. We were out dancing and the top was basically falling down too low, or else my boobs were just too high … and I don't know if it was the camera angle or what but the whole thing was a disaster. If you look really closely you can see nipple.

I asked my friend, who happens to be a Virgo, to take down the picture and she said that it was all in fun and that I was being too sensitive and vain. I'm thinking of getting revenge, reporting her on the site or posting a retaliation picture -- I haven't quite thought of what yet though… any advice?
-- Busty Leo

Dear Busty Leo,
You are not being over-sensitive or vain. Your friend took a nip shot of you and put it up on the internet. She is officially mean and it's time to break up with her. Don't retaliate though -- it's better not to stir the pot with this kind of meangirl.

Of course, Virgos are not usually mean. But if you encounter one who is, here's how to break up with her:

1. Keep it to yourself. Break up with her in your heart and tell no one, least of all her.
2. Act natural and breezy. Be nice. But don't initiate contact. Ever. Don't call and if you must return her calls wait a long, long time to do it and then call back when you don't think she'll be there.
3. Blow her off. Put time, and space between you. Don't go near here unless you have to. If she asks what's wrong, say that nothing is wrong and that you're so happy to see her. Then continue to blow her off.

In other words, be an actress. That shouldn't be hard for you, dear Leo. You are, after all, born under the sign of the performer.