"You see. No shock. No engulfment. No tearing assunder. What you feared would come like an explosion is like a whisper. What you thought was the end is the beginning."
-- Rod Serling
When the planet of love and beauty (Venus) attempts to balance all of her picky, particular requirements for love with the god of illusion (Neptune) asking her to love unconditionally, relationships get confusing and murky. Neptune wants to merge but Venus in Virgo has a whole list of specific items that must be met, especially in the hygiene department.
Neptune has no boundaries, but if we feel the threat of being engulfed by the "other" our critical side could easily get triggered. This is not a time to dance with the inner critic or we could fall prey to delusional and exaggerated criticism of our perceived flaws. We need to be more forgiving towards ourselves now instead of blaming or getting hung up and letting the inner critic run rampant.
If we experience either extreme: criticism or total smothering "unconditional" engulfment by the loved one, we need to work the other side of the spectrum. This starts by the way we treat ourselves. We need to be more forgiving in some areas, less blaming and less prone to martyrdom in others. We must look at where we are too critical and where we need tighter boundaries and self-containment so we don't ooze all over the person with our unconscious needs and issues. It's definitely a dance and the key is to own our projections. Whatever we criticize or want to engulf about the other is often just the thing we need to embrace or correct in ourselves.