If you’ve already fallen off of several wagons trying to live up to your New Year’s Resolutions by day four of 2011, don’t beat the daylights out of yourself, dear mortal. Use the ball-busting, big daddy Saturn power of the new Moon in Capricorn to set your inner saboteur, whiney child and lazy slob straight!
Bang your head, Quiet Riot style -- not against the wall. Bang out all of the nonsense that the world has tried to feed you like waiting your turn, giving two sh*ts about what anyone thinks and playing by other people’s rules. You’re a trailblazer and bridge burner -- now start acting like one!
Get your priorities straight! See how your own dreams have a way of falling to the bottom of the barrel? Shake that sh*t. Yes, you’re a fabulous support system for everyone and their mother and second cousin. What would they do without you holding down the fort? Okay, yes, probably crash and burn, but that’s still no excuse for you to put your own needs on an endless backburner.
You’ve got so much to say -- say it! But learn from Lauryn Hill’s recent tour debacle: don’t be tardy for your own party! And stop spinning in your own self-created Snookie hamster cage. Put those snarky thoughts into tangible form on a daily basis. Communication keeps the evil twin at bay. Idle gossip only feeds the meanie twin: tweet others the way you want to be tweeted, as Rev Run says.
Stop clinging to the past -- there ain’t nothin’ goin’ on but the rent in 2011. Be present or you’ll end up broke and miserable. Enough with the legendary déjà-vu obsessions, Cancer! You have to admit; you wrote the book on glamorizing even the most mundane situations of the past when in reality you were probably not even there to enjoy it because you were hung up on some other faded memory! You’re the master at dwell, wallow and cling but 2011 is all about pulling those crab claws out of ancient history. You’re missing the boat, bus, plane train and automobile ride to awesome -- oh yes you are!
Shake what your mama gave ya! Show-off like it was your job! This includes your love, talents and -- your brain. You’ve got more than enough to spare and being the most generous sign of the zodiac, why would you hoard your gold? Make 2011 the year you abolish the starving artist, the blocked artist, the shadow artist and the closet artist once and for freaking all. If a tree falls in a forest with no one to hear it, even if it makes a sound: who the hell cares? Certainly not a Leo!
Strive for profound, messy, chaotic, self-serving imperfection. That’s right Virgo --nobody does it better but you’re the worst when it comes to just letting it all hang out --that’s why you often rely on liquid courage to get out of your head and into your heart where you belong. This year strive to enjoy every moment (especially when not working), which means leaving little time for worrying, chain-smoking and other such famous mercurial A.D.D. distractions, darling.
This is the year to embrace your inner badass and start as many fights as possible. Don’t pick your battles wisely -- wage as many wars in the name of “down with passive-aggressive mealy-mouth syndrome” as possible. You’ve got the cosmic badass backing you up for the entire year -- Saturn, the god who eats his own children and turns craniums to dust.
Carve out some serious downtime. The thought probably terrifies you to the core of your do-or-die being and yet it’s what you secretly need most. Plus your friends and fam are losing their patience with listening to you bitch about how there’s no time! Time is your own mental creation and if you keep choosing to stuff your work schedule to the brim, how can you ever expect to have any kind of personal life? The problem is that you can’t say no to things that seem potentially powerful and exciting -- especially those things that could further your professional goals.
Resolve to put yourself out there -- and take a risk! As adventurous as you claim to be, you can also be one big scaredy cat when it comes to really taking the plunge sometimes. Perhaps you got burned so many times by Pluto during the last decade that you’ve had enough with going out on limbs. But this is your year to blow up like the firecracker you truly are. Live and love like there’s no tomorrow, Sag!
Stop eating your own children like Saturn. This means brace-love-forgive yourself a thousand times a day before you murder your creative instincts and beat yourself to a pulp before you’ve even left your bed. Let yourself break the rules in 2011 because you’re a grown-up. If you’re bored of playing cop, well then just stop. Let the universe police itself for a year. If you can come to terms with the fact that most people prefer to remain perpetual adolescents, you can easily lower your expectations. And be kinder to yourself. The tough-as-nails approach is so 2010.
Promise to embrace your inner eccentric -- without apology. It’s why you win friends and influence people without even trying. And yet there is some nagging inner tyrant always telling you to simmer down when that’s in fact the last thing you should be doing. Take risks, show off your inner genius and make bold, radical moves that completely rock the status quo. You have come to wake up the walking dead.
Welcome to your life -- there’s no turning back. This year commit to your incarnation, to being in a body and not somewhere between here and oblivion. Instead of choosing life, Pisces are famous for choosing the great escape. Resolve to go into the deep, dirty trenches of life -- get your hands dirty and refuse all escape hatches. Be here now --Pisces! 2011 is your year to make it real.