A Reader Asks, Should We Break-Up or Start Over?

Dear Jessica,

I’m considering leaving my committed relationship. There was a major transgression… and I’m just about over it. Are you finding other people are having this experience, too? Am I alone in this?  Sincerely, Over It

(p.s.- The Uranus Pluto square has utterly clobbered my chart.)

You’re not alone. If the Uranus-Pluto square is putting pressure on your relationship life, you’re probably going to feel like giving ultimatums. If there has been a longstanding issue, many of my clients are reaching the end of their rope, so to speak. They want to either move forward  -or move on.

For some, this may be the right decision, but there are subtleties to spiritual growth that sometimes require we stick it out and reinvent our life together. After all, this is a long-term transit; once this pair hits a chart point the transit will last several years (or more). Uranus and Pluto are also both in cardinal signs, and the cardinals are the active initiators of the zodiac. This can increase our sense of feeling like everything is a "crisis" or "emergency." One of the inter-personal challenges for this slow-moving transit in cardinal signs is not throwing out the baby with the bathwater. In other words, this may be an opportunity to build a new foundation with the knowledge we're learning about our coupling. Maybe we know we need a change, but dramatic change and healing cannot happen overnight. For instance, what if a couple has experienced a healing crisis or betrayal, and yet both are committed to working it through?  There will be times when our couple questions everything – but sometimes the wisest move we can make is to wait. To self-reflect, talk with wise friends, an astrologer or a therapist.

Pluto is the planet of total transformation; but that transformation may not need to see a literal death of a relationship. Uranus-Pluto transits require much soul-searching on our part, and that soul-searching is asking us to look in the deepest corners of our consciousness and our heart. This takes time, and effort, and it won’t be easy -- but the relationships of our lives are worth it.