A Reader Asks, Why Are My Girlfriends Frustrating Me?

Dear Jessica, I love my friends dearly (we’ve been friends since highschool) but recently I've been frustrated by them. One friend borrows money and always "forgets" to pay me back; another doesn't remember the most important events going on in my life, when we catch up she acts as if I'm telling her for the first time! I’m generous and forgiving with my friends, but lately I feel unsupported and even guilty about my harsh feelings toward them… It’s not that they’re doing anything differently than they’ve done in the past. What do the stars say? Signed, Missing my Besties

Dear Bestie,

It sounds like you’re maturing, but your friends are not. Saturn in Libra is square your Venus (Jupiter conjunction) in Cancer. When Saturn squares Venus our relationships are structurally tested; any weaknesses that have been lurking in the shadows reveal as problems you need to address to move forward. Imagine your relationship life as a beautiful, welcoming and generous house and Saturn is revealing the cracks and areas that need improvement. Repair them now, so when the rainy seasons of life comes your relationships can stand strong.

How to do that? The ways you’ve been interacting with your friends needs to change to better reflect your growing need for responsible, mature friendship. But they won’t do it for you - it’s up to you to set up new dynamics. Don’t put your self in the situation to pay for your friend, for instance; let her know in advance that you only have enough cash for your meal (eventually, she'll get the message). Tell your other friend it bothers you when she doesn’t remember the big events of your life. This will feel uncomfortable for you but acting on your concerns is self-loving & will give you a renewed sense of self-respect and integrity.

If you’re still feeling unmet, it may be time to take a break from these friends and turn your attention toward mature friends who are easily able to meet your needs. Saturn periods, while not easy or pleasant, are ultimately clarifying. This is one of those times in life when honoring your own boundaries and attending to what’s making you unhappy pays in happiness down the road.