Venus in Gemini RX wants us to deal with the realities that accompany every relationship, which always includes misunderstandings, learning to ask for what we want, practicing clear communication and holding the space for duality - like loving another but not liking their behavior. It hasn’t been an easy time.
But Uranus-Pluto is making it harder, and as Mercury (just passed) and the Sun precesses into Cancer (6/20), a T-square starts forming in the sky. A T-square is an aspect of dynamic tension and we typically feel this energy as stressful. The square is applying exact for the first time on June 24, 2012. Here are some of the themes I'm seeing in regard to relationship and the Uranus-Pluto square:
Karmic patterns of wounding & betrayal are up.
Everyone has relationship wounds and while they may be influenced by our opposite sex parent we can see them in our relationships today. Pluto transits create situations where we are re-wounded so that we can finally heal what has been hurting us all these years. A ‘wound’ can be hard to figure out; we may not be able to name it, but it’s the place where we’ve been quietly bleeding inside for years and we only identify it when certain situations come up with our partner(s), when we are abandoned, betrayed, and we feel deeply hurt. It will take time and support to learn to articulate what is going on for you here, and to heal.
There is extreme pressure to evolve unhealthy relating patterns into healthy relating
Maybe you have a pattern of making getting your needs dependent on your partner's needs (hey, that's mine!) and that's got to change because it's making you miserable. Name your unhealthy relationship pattern and when Uranus-Pluto comes along you will need to deeply look at it and attempt to change it. But it's hard, because it's Pluto in Capricorn, and you have formed an attachment here.
Collectively, for instance, take the suppression of the feminine. We live in a patriarchy, my friends, and unfortunately for some reason every new generation of women have to fight the good fight all over again. The ways women’s needs and desires, self-expression are marginalized and disrespected in our professional and private lives is insidious, and often invisible - we don’t realize it’s happening. When partners say the equivalent of, “you’re crazy…” in response to a strong emotion, or “I don’t know what you’re talking about…” to an expressed need, it discounts her experience. This isn’t a relic of the past. It is a two-way street, and changing the way we both communicate is one aspect of changing this interpersonal pattern.
Relationships demand our authenticity & honesty now- hard for many.
Why is it so hard to say to our partner: even though you probably will not like it, I need to do something radically differently? We all have an instinct to belong, and be liked. This is an evolutionary survival strategy – call it a Venus strategy – an instinct formed from millions of years of living in tribes which also means living by ‘status quo’ rules or dying by them. Historically, when someone stepped outside the consensus, it made them vulnerable to being branded an outlaw, outsider or worse. Well, we’re not so enlightened today; we can still reject people for being different, for choosing a different path than we would choose. That’s why when we are called to be more of our True Self in a relationship we may sense danger -- especially if we think our partner will disapprove, and we can do all kinds of crazy things (denying our True Self, lying, going along with things...) to keep from losing their approval. It’s as if our primal animal inside senses that telling our partner we want to (your verb here: work outside the home, take pole dancing, be an astrologer, quit job and move to Thailand, be more sexually adventuresome as a couple) could result in rejection. It can be terrifying to put our True Self out there, especially when what we most fear is also a real possibility.