What makes you unique in your approach to sex? We decided to interview 12 astrological Sun signs themselves to uncover their feelings about foreplay.
'Foreplay? That's the bit where you pretend to be interested in the conversation, right? I don't really have time for that sort of thing. I do good work, you know. We can get to the romance later.'
'Foreplay is at least half the point of the whole act. You take that souffle out of the oven too quickly, and it just goes all flat and limp. Mmmm ... souffle. Now I'm hungry.'
'Intellectual stimulation is good, but so is getting to the point. And food is really sensual too, but I don't want to be doing it feeling bloated. So I guess it depends on ... hey, is that a microphone? Hel-loooo ...'
'I prefer the sensitive approach. Foreplay is the bonding process that makes the final act all that much better. Besides, if I do a good enough job, you may stick around and not trigger my abandonment issues. Today, anyway.'
'I'm sick and tired of hearing about how everything Leo does is just an extension of their ego. We're passionate, caring and generous, which is why we're good at foreplay. Really good. Oh, a TV camera! How's my hair?'
'I like a lot of good, clean foreplay. As a matter of fact, I've written an extensive list of how, when and where I like it best. You want to see it? Too bad. I tend to keep 'em guessing a little. Go ahead -- guess what works for me.'
'I love it when it's my turn to shine in the bedroom! Unless of course it's actually your turn. Oh look, you're trying so hard! Isn't that sweet! You're so cute. Here, let me show you how that's actually done ... if that's okay with you.'
'Foreplay is the tasty layer of fudge sauce that goes over the actual ice cream. Then, more sauce. Then, more ice cream. Or wait: maybe foreplay is the sprinkles on top, and everything else is the act itself. Damn, I sure am hungry now.'
'Well y'know, last time I had foreplay it was pretty good. I mean I usually do good work, but I betcha I can do it even better next time! Seriously: betcha five bucks. Here, I'll show you ... let's go!'
'Good sex, ideally, isn't a matter of one person doing all the work. It's a partnership. Which is why I'm concerned you aren't doing your part properly. Here, I've compiled a list of simple tips that could significantly improve your sexual investment ... '
'It's about the Universal Love Vibration. It's about recognizing the Divine in both yourself and your partner. Foreplay is like the initiation into a Sacred Rite. Hey, a camera! Now that gives me some ideas.'
'Every moment of physical contact between lovers can stir the deepest and most profound emotions. Foreplay is sweet and gentle and powerful and profound. If life itself were like foreplay ... maybe I wouldn't be so lonely and misunderstood (sniff).'