From the Ashes: A Ritual to Find True Love

February 14, 2018

Pink tourmaline

In this jam-packed week, we have the first solar eclipse of the year, the beginning of the season of Lent, the lunar new year (earth Dog ftw!), an Aquarius new moon, and a Mars-Neptune square.

It’s… a lot.

Most intriguing to me is that today, Valentine’s Day, also corresponds with Ash Wednesday, which is rare.

Ash Wednesday is a very solemn day in the Catholic faith. It is the beginning of the Lenten fast, a day on which adherents are marked with the sign of the cross in ashes on their brows and vow to give something up to honor their faith.

Valentine’s Day, that old tyrant, occidental society’s only holiday given to romantic love, can so often be a source of angst, anguish, loneliness, and sorrow.

You can ignite the passion in your love life and keep the magic alive…

This is a big invitation. Venus is in Pisces now, where she feels lush and dreamy, but let’s not forget that Pisces rules the twelfth house, the house of dissolution (and, eventually anyway, disillusionment).

On Ash Wednesday, adherents offer something up. They suspend their relationship with sugar or smoking or Facebook. They do this to prove themselves.

Let’s do the same with love. Let’s take any old ideas, reflexive behaviors, or outdated notions (all the stuff you unearthed and examined while Venus was in Aquarius, and with all the Aquarian energy of late), and let’s burn them. And then let’s rise from the ashes.

Fresh, new, purified, unscathed.

Pink tourmaline, like its cousin black tourmaline, which we worked with just a few weeks ago, is a stone capable of moving and transmuting energy, but this one, with it’s gorgeous pink ray, does this exclusively for the heart, especially when it comes to romantic or interpersonal love.

We all have something that keeps us from loving fully – a ghost of an old relationship, malicious trauma shadows, skepticism, boundary issues, lack of self-love, shyness. We wish there were a cure-all, an immediate fix, but there isn’t. What we can do is offer ourselves deliberate and diligent labor.


Whatever old thing that’s holding you back, offer it as a symbol of your faith. If you want to ritualize the occasion, I would suggest writing down a list of ideas or concepts you’re ready to release when it comes to romantic love.


1. Burn this list.

2. Anoint your forehead with the ashes.

3. Hold a pink tourmaline over your heart, and draw loving circles (or heart shapes!) while you envision releasing and purifying all that you need to.

4. Lay that burden down.

5. Be a phoenix of love.

(Feel free to repeat for 40 days.)

Grounding Elements Pro-Tip: We always recommend using the stone in its most primitive form, like this raw piece of pink tourmaline.