Stop Self-Sabotage: Using the Zodiac to Get Your Life Back on Track
At the end of the day, the only thing standing in the way of us reaching our full potential is ourselves – how we program and condition our minds and our behaviors. Learning to live life as our best selves sometimes involves identifying the ways we are holding ourselves back. And what better way to begin investigating this than through the lens of the Zodiac?
So, in the spirit of self discovery and taking control of our lives, here is a breakdown of what you need to do stop self-sabotaging, based on your Zodiac sign.
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Set realistic expectations.
There is the world that exists in your mind, and then there is reality. You will have to come to terms with the fact that real life is not as idealistic as it is in books. Not everything has an answer, not everything has a solution, not everything is going to be exactly the way you want it to be all the time. That doesn’t mean you will have any less of a beautiful life, if only you stop holding yourself back with ridiculous, suffocating standards.
Stop seeking approval in others.
You are confusing what your life looks like for what it feels like, and that’s because when you post a nice photo, buy a nice outfit, map out a story in your mind of how well other people see you, you do feel better. You do feel good. But you only feel better because you think other people approve of you. What will it take for you to approve of you? What would it take for you to be a little more honest, and a little more real?
Be your own best friend.
It is not other people’s responsibilities to be there for you whenever you need. Even though you consider yourself an amazing partner and friend, the truth is that you need to learn to satisfy the itch that makes you want to be around other people all the time, to confide in them and do things with them and always be investing in them. You are your own soulmate, your own muse, and your own partner. You need to start acting like it. Doing so will not strip energy away from your relationships, it will actually free you to function in them healthfully again.
Stop confusing a wave for the entire ocean.
In other words, you need to stop believing that whatever temporary feeling is consuming you is indicative of your entire life. Your feelings are not as permanent as you think they are in the moment, and fearing them, dwelling on them and over-reacting to them is actually what’s keeping you stuck in them. You don’t actually feel more than other people do, you are simply more responsive to your feelings than other people are. You will free yourself when you can detach.
Channel your aggression.
The way you process adversity is by taking it personally, feeling inferior, and then trying to compensate for the feeling of inferiority. All of it culminates in you struggling with feeling inadequate yet at the same time projecting an image of someone who is hyper-confident. The trouble comes in when life happens: when you get broken up with, when you aren’t the best employee at work, when someone makes a snide remark at you. When you’re trying to act tough, it’s because you feel weak, and it’s that vulnerability that you need to address. Letting it fester is what’s destroying your life, because it’s making you incapable of moving on from the bad, and focusing on the good.
Stop being a martyr.
Not only for other people’s dramas and issues (you are not their parent, let them figure it out on their own) but also for your own pity-party. Your pathological need to worry and overthink can sometimes spill over into the lives of the people you are closest with, and that’s when it really starts to get out of hand. You are wasting your precious energy that you could and should be channeling into much more noble endeavors. Be the humanist that you want to be, not the enabler.
Stop expecting life to look the way you once thought it would.
Here’s a little bite of cold, bitter truth: your life will not ever look as you think it will. That doesn’t mean that you are a failure. That doesn’t mean that life is not beautiful and worth appreciating. The thing that is holding you back the most in your life is your compulsive need to keep comparing things to an ideal that you have in your head. What if you let that go? What if you realized everything but what’s in front of you right now has simply been an illusion of your mind? What if you told yourself that what you have is what you always wanted? Would you be able to see the beauty in it? Would you be able to finally let go?
Open yourself up to love.
Real love. The kind of love that you look at other people and seethe with jealousy over. The kind of love that you deeply and secretly fear you are not worthy of. All of the obsessing, the worrying, the anxiety, the self-loathing… it is all being fueled by your unwillingness to open your heart to a real relationship. You are so busy trying to prove to yourself that you are worthy, you are forgetting that what you really have to do is simply show up. Change your narrative from: “I want to be worthy of love,” to “I want to be able to give and receive love freely.”
Commit to the life you really want.
What holds a Sag back more than anything is that the life they think they should be living and the life they really want exist as a constant conflict in their minds. You need to unhook the anchor and let yourself explore, travel, read, befriend, break up, rekindle and feel. You are the ultimate adventurer of the Zodiac, and no matter where you find yourself on your life’s path, if you aren’t making enough time to life as you want to be, you will never truly feel fulfilled, no matter how many pre-prescribed ideals you try to adhere to in the meantime.
Stop trying to be something you aren’t.
What’s not working in your life isn’t working because you aren’t actually following “your own path,” you’re looking to other people to affirm you and guiding your actions based on that. You’re getting so attached to your coping mechanisms that you can’t find your way out. It’s not that you can’t think for yourself (you can) it’s that you need to be fearless enough to say when something isn’t working, say when something isn’t for you, and choose what you really know you need to choose. Anything else is just a distraction.
Start implementing your big ideas.
You are perhaps the only sign in the Zodiac (and kind of person in general) that someone could say “be realistic” to and it would be actually helpful advice. The reality is that you know what you need and want to do, you simply have to find the right people and take the logical action steps to making it a reality. You can’t do it all yourself. But sitting around daydreaming of everything that’s possible isn’t bringing you closer to it. Plant your feet on the ground, and start taking steps.
Free your mind.
What’s holding back your innate creative potential is the fog that having such incessant negative thoughts creates. Whether it’s about your body, your friends, your worthiness or your potential, you doubt yourself more than is healthy. You will thrive when you are no longer afraid of your creativity, rather, willing to use it to change your life and the lives of those around you.