“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” – African Proverb
We all know that things can be hard. We can be victimized, brutalized, marginalized, and traumatized. But, even in our darkest moments, it is important to remember that one can truly stop us but ourselves.
Of course, there are individuals and systems out there that can really, really hurt us. Sometimes we can be hurt enough to make us feel broken beyond repair.
But here’s the deal: It is always within to put ourselves back together again.
No one can truly get in your way, break you, or take away your power – except, of course, the person staring back at you in the mirror. That’s called self-sabotage, honey, and everybody does it.
You are not alone. The trick is figuring out how to stop this kind of behavior before it stops you.
Here are 5 ways to stop self sabotage, the moment it starts.
When you’re feeling stuck, take a moment to cast a simple spell to call in some protective white light.
The first step of this spell is to procure a white candle. Take this candle to a place where you feel safe, do what you need to do to clear your mind, and light the candle.
After you light your candle, ask out loud: “What is holding me back?” Ask that these self-imposed blockages be identified.
Look at these blockages, and notice how they take shape. Now, see these blockages bathed in a soft, white light.
As you look at these blockages, watch as the white light that surrounds them grows brighter, until it glows with an intensity that is almost blinding.
Notice that you can no longer see your blockages. All you see is white light.
When you are done, let the candle go out on its own.
For this exercise, we’ll turn to Saturn, the ruler of fear. Saturn has a way of pushing us to look our greatest fears in the eye by simply… bringing them up.
Learning about the sign and house placement of where Saturn is in your natal chart makes a HUGE difference in how you start to think about your fears.
Once you know where Saturn is in your natal chart, you also can look to see what other planets are interacting your with him to learn even more about yourself. Use the information that can be found here to learn everything you need to know about what each placement means for you.
As you decode this astrological information, remember: the end goal is to identify not only your triggers but also any habits you created in childhood that your used to protect yourself that no longer serve you. Everyone had one thing or another happen in their childhood that caused them to develop coping mechanisms they still use today. Many of those coping mechanisms are no longer necessary.
Use Saturn as your catalyst to identify exactly what those are, so you can kick them bye-bye.
Words really can make a difference in not only how we approach the world but also how we feel about ourselves.
When you find yourself starting to feel overwhelmed start listing things that you are good at. If this is hard to do, look to things that you are grateful for. If this is something that you still are finding this too challenging, try simply repeating the phrase “I am grateful.”
Mantras work by helping to reset your nervous system, away from anxiety and circular thinking and toward serenity and ease. Find a mantra that suits you, something you can say when you feel self-sabotage creeping in.
Now that you’ve tried a simple mantra exercise, you’re ready to go deeper.
When you find yourself caught up in circular thinking, (you know those moments where your thoughts are racing a mile a minute, endlessly repeating your never-ending to-do list or scolding you for things you haven’t accomplished yet), it’s time to meditate. Go within. Try a guided meditation if that works best for you.
When you sense your triggers being poked, this is an amazing way to take away their power and lead you away from self-sabotage.
This crystal can be a powerful secret weapon against self-sabotage – if you let it.
Black Tourmaline is known for helping cleanse negative energy as well as understand our fears and anxieties. It helps you get rid of whatever’s happening in your life that no longer serves you. Since it’s a root chakra stone, it will also help with your sense of grounding.
You can just hold it, add it to your meditation, wear it or even place is close to your root for extra grounding. By allowing a piece of black tourmaline to do its magic, you just might begin to trust yourself!
Shereen Campbell is a NYC-based astrologer, intuitive, and certified reiki and crystal healer. She runs My Little Magic Shop, dedicated to helping people step into their inner magic.