When it comes to love and dating, the moon is arguably one of the most powerful yet overlooked astrological bodies in the sky.
Usually, folks look to the lover planets Venus and Mars for guidance when it comes to romance. And while there’s definitely nothing wrong with using those two as your guides, adding the moon into the mix certainly can’t hurt.
Lunar cycles give us a ton of insight into our emotional well-being. The moon shows us how we nurture ourselves and what feelings we are processing. She shows us where we have blocks, where we can push a little further, and where some healing is needed.
When it comes to dating, we can use the moon phases of the lunar cycle as markers for when to slow down, when to go faster, and when to just stop.
Here are the ways that each phase of the moon cycle can affect your dating life.
As most people know, the new moon is a great time to start something new. Immediately after the new moon, or balsamic moon, is the perfect time to set your intentions and plant seeds you wish to manifest in your life.
If you are single, this is when you could light a pink candle for the love you wish to bring into your life. Write your list of dream relationship qualities or create a manifestation vision board. You could also schedule a first date, create or update your dating profile, or even ask a friend to set you up with someone exciting.
If you are already attached, this is a great time to take your relationship to the next level. You can have conversations with your love about becoming official, moving in together, engagement, or starting a family.
Pay attention to this time, as often new folks or circumstances will enter your life. This is heightened when the new moon falls into your fifth house of love, creativity, and children or seventh house of long-term partnerships and marriage.
The two weeks that follow the dark moon phase is the perfect time for building up momentum and pushing forward on new projects and experiences. First dates, trying for babies, connecting with new suitors, and connecting with your higher self are all must-dos when the moon is waxing. This is the time of doing and being.
If some circumstances have recently come up for you that need some healing, this is when you want to do the work. Don’t be scared to create new habits, and try new things during this moon phase – it might lead you closer or deeper in love.
When dating someone, this is where a lot of the work will happen. It’s a great time to focus on learning about each other and figuring out how – and if – your lives fit together.
After you’ve done the work of building your foundation during the new moon and pushing deeper into discovery and learning during the waxing crescent, the first quarter is generally at time when you find out where you need to make adjustments. This two- to three-day time period might catch you feeling a bit down, so let yourself just… take a breather.
Don’t make any rash decisions. Sit with your feelings.
During the first quarter moon, you might discover quirks you’re not so sure about in yourself or your boo. Ponder if you can move past your faults and those of others.
Now that you have given yourself a couple days to absorb all you have done thus far in the lunar cycle, you will find that during the gibbous moon you have all you need to reassess and make a couple more strides forward.
This is also what could be called the calm right before the storm. Or that calm feeling you get right before you buckle your seatbelt on a rollercoaster. You know something major is about to happen, and right now, you have time to take some deep breaths. It’s spooky calm.
When it comes to dating during a gibbous moon phase, we’re talking spa days with the buds and crystal water before bed. This is a good time to get in some “me time,” if you can.
And if you really need to hang with bae, then make sure to keep it super low-key. Do something fun and active, nothing too emotionally charged. Emotions tend to run a little high and erratic right before a full moon. Don’t get caught in the crosshairs.
Ok. Now is a great time to go into observation mood. Slowly, take in everything happening around you. Process it. Push yourself to figure out what there is that is left to learn.
This is the start of a very reflective time. Allow things to fall where they may, then collect the pieces of information you were gifted and prepare to make your next moves.
If you’re single, perhaps an issue within your dating life might come up. Someone ghosts, a secret is revealed, or a blowout fight could happen. If you’re in a relationship, maybe your love wants to take your relationship up a notch, or informs you that they got a new job in another city.
However this energy manifests, just remember: whatever happens around this time is all about helping you discover more about yourself and how you relate to others.
When it comes to love, a full moon could put us in a my-needs-versus-their-needs mindset. That’s ok. Think of it as a way to double-check the balance of our relationships. A full moon occurs when the moon opposes the sun perfectly, which is essentially the universe showing us what to do. Balance!
So, maybe something comes up, like an argument that’s been brewing for a bit. Initially, it might feel like an awful experience, but maybe it’s finally giving you a chance to sort through any lingering issues that are blocking the relationship from progressing further.
Try to avoid making any rash, emotional decisions at this time. Take some time to center and ground yourself. Do what you need to do to move into a state of calm and observation. This can help you approach your next move with the clarity you need to align with your higher self.
Meditate, do yoga, play with some crystals, dance in your underwear in your house! Whatever it is, find a way to release the energy in a healthy way without doing something you regret.
Also, don’t forget, if you have any stones, especially the love stones like rose quartz, leave them out under the full moon for some cleansing.
This time period is all about processing the information that you received during the full moon and learning to integrate it into your psyche for healing.
On the dating tip, first dates might not be the best idea, but second dates won’t hurt anyone. Take whatever you learned during the full moon and apply it to your second and third dates… or towards your already established relationship.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable during this time period. This is an optimum time for emotionally connecting with others. Make sure that you are spending time focusing on self love and self care.
This is not the most favorable time for starting anything new, but it’s a great time for picking up something old you forgot about.
This doesn’t apply to your ex, though. It’s best to leave them in the past unless they have really, really, really earned a comeback.
When the moon is disseminating, as the word suggests, it’s time to share the knowledge. This is a great time for some BFF time!
Sharing your energy and stories with others tends to feel soooooo needed during the days of the disseminating moon. If you’ve been having issues in your relationship, this is the perfect time to get some outside advice and perspective. Reach out to a friend in a healthy, happy relationship and share your story with them. Ask them what would they do if they were in your shoes. Once you’ve gained a little outside perspective and your intuition approves it, feel free to have a little chat with your boo. Share your feelings. And be sure to listen to theirs as well.
If you’re single and mingling, hang with your single gals and share your stories. Dating can definitely suck sometimes and commiserating with your gal pals about your woes can make it a little more bearable.
Next, similar to the first quarter moon, the last quarter moon might bring about a chance for the readjustment. This two- to three-day time period is great for reevaluating what went down during the full moon and how you planned to push forward.
Does your initial plan still make sense? What holes can you identify, and can they be filled? Plus, you got some relationship advice, commensurate with your gals and chatted with your significant other. So, what’s next? Are you staying or are you going?
The last quarter moon is the time to break up if you don’t plan on making up. If you are making up, then make up! Have the convos you need to have, and let the past go. Focus on the future and how to move forward in a healthy relationship. If you’ve given them the boot, then now is the time to refocus on you, your needs, and what you want in the future.
This time is all about simply surrendering, taking a last rest before the next new moon, when you will start again and plant new seeds. This is the second time in the lunar cycle where it’s undoubtedly time to Netflix and chill. Relax, love. Take long baths, sip tea, watch emo movies.
If you’re chilling with your boo, just enjoy each other’s company and be. It’s the quiet moments like this we all secretly live for. The moments of quiet and tenderness. Tenderness with ourselves, and compassion for others. You’ve made amends, with either yourself or your love, or both. It’s time to reward yourself with some quiet moments.