Venus in Virgo: Getting Real About Relationship Mastery

October 5, 2020

On Friday, October 2, Venus—­­­­our planet of love and romance—leaves passionate and fiery Leo for practical and down-to-earth Virgo. In this sign, where she will stay until October 26, Venus struggles to gain her footing as she is in her “fall.” This is astrologer talk for “Venus doesn’t really like to be here.” It’s tough territory for her, since it’s the opposite of her very favorite sign for her to be in, which is Pisces.

Venus prefers to keep the status quo and Virgo is all about self-improvement. The goddess of pleasure struggles with this approach because having things to improve suggests that something is out of balance. What this currently means for us is our partnerships will be put under the microscope and given an honest, no-BS moment of clarity. It’s time to take off the rose-tinted glasses and get real about the quality of our relationships. In the case that we have been holding any illusions about others, we’re met with a solid reality check under this Venus cycle. The downside is that the allure of romance gets put on the backburner here. Pleasure for the sake of it gets tossed to the side and now it’s all about having a plan. We’re not throwing caution to the wind like we were when Venus was in Leo. Discernment becomes par for course now.

When Venus is in analytical, detail-oriented Virgo, we’re more inclined to think about what “should” be done in regards to our most cherished bonds. What our relationships should look like and what the perfect love should be. Venus in Virgo has sky-high standards and an ideal vision. She sees every little imperfection that does not live up to its vision and makes attempts towards purification.

Relationship Mastery Is Venus in Virgo’s Main M-O

This is an opportunity to do a full audit of who is currently occupying our inner circle and give ourselves some honest feedback. How am I showing up in a relationship? Am I receiving as much as I’m giving and vice versa? Relationships are mirrors and every trigger from another is an invitation to go deeper into our healing.
In true Virgo fashion, journaling about our observations over the course of this transit will offer some much-needed perspective. Before airing our grievances out on an unsuspecting partner because they’re not living up to who we think they should be in our head, our time is best spent noticing and writing our feelings down. Documenting all the details about our closest connections is a great practice but let’s not forget to zoom out and remember the big picture here.

Virgo’s signature perfectionism colors the way Venus goes about doing her thing. Preferring to sterilize, purify, and exfoliate when in Virgo can feel harsh for sweet and cordial Venus, who doesn’t like to ruffle any feathers. In an effort to restore equilibrium, we might find ourselves fine-tuning and tweaking details until it’s “just right.” But of course, no relationship is perfect so we’re left perpetually dissatisfied and always striving towards what could be better, as opposed to sitting with and appreciating what is. If we’re always looking for what’s wrong, we’re going to find more things that are wrong.

In Leo, our attraction strategy was all about peacocking. Daring to be a little more extra to get our crush’s attention.

In Virgo, Venus shifts her approach into a more service-oriented one. Acts of service become a little more appreciated for the next 3.5 weeks and we develop emotional bonds with a little more humility. 

The downside to this shift in energy is Venus in Virgo’s tendency to overextend herself to others, sacrificing the Self for the sake of service. Martyrdom quickly becomes the shadow expression of this transit, as we tend to see the “potential” in every connection. Going above and beyond without any reciprocation is a recipe for relationship burnout. Overextending ourselves to others in hopes of “fixing” them is a form of self-sabotage and something to be mindful of during this time. When we’re not feeling appreciated for all the ways we show up for other people, it’s time to transmute that servitude back into ourselves. Otherwise, we run the risk of criticizing each other because we’re not feeling totally respected.

With Venus also being the planet that governs our assets and our capital, a good use of this energy is to scrutinize our financial systems and money management. Organizing our finances and getting efficient in our business is one way to cultivate inner peace and create more harmony under this transit. Venus in Virgo invites us towards economic refinement and a more conservative attitude towards our resources. If analyzing our relationships becomes too much to bear, then putting that energy towards getting real about how we structure our finances is a better focus for the time being.

Notable Venus in Virgo Transits: 

October 10: Venus in Virgo trine Uranus in Taurus

It could bring an unexpected new crush or access to new resources.


October 19: Venus in Virgo trine Jupiter in Capricorn

A highly fortunate meeting between the two benefics. Relationships are solidified and we receive new opportunities to make money.


 October 21: Venus in Virgo trine Pluto in Capricorn

Exacerbates compulsive behaviors in love or a deep-seated desire to succeed at any cost.


October 24: Venus in Virgo trine Saturn in Capricorn

A good time to make long-term investments and solid commitments.

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