The Shy Witch's Guide to Finding a Coven: Spells, Tips, and More
If you’ve encountered witchcraft in pop culture, you’ve likely seen representations of a coven: a close-knit group of witches bound over their craft and shared magic. For some easy examples, think American Horror Story: Coven, which centered on a magic school and its attendees, or the sisters of Charmed—even the Hogwarts “houses” of Harry Potter lore can be considered covens.
Now, imagine finding that kind of tribe and making it your own. Sounds great, right? But if you’re an introvert, making friends is hard enough; building a circle of craft-interested kin? Next-level difficult.
If you’ve been yearning for a magical way to make occult friends, these tips will help get you started.
What does my coven look like?
Before you start forming a coven, it’s best to decide what kind of coven you’re into.
The term “coven” has shifted in meaning over the years. Traditional covens come from Wicca, where a group of thirteen witches of all gender identities come together to perform rituals and practice the craft. Traditional covens focus more on membership than friendship—they’re usually led by a High Priestess or Priest, and there’s a hierarchy that members follow.
Today’s definition of a coven tends to be more relaxed and less focused on religious aspects. Contemporary covens are usually made up of a few friends who share a deep interest in magic and want to study and practice together.
So, do you want to form your own coven or join an established one? What area of magic do you want the coven to focus on? Are you a hedge witch looking for others to celebrate the physical magic of the living world through gardening and herbalism? Are you a cosmic witch who wants to hold ritual circles under the light of the full moon? All of the above? What activities do you want to do? Do you want to share other interests besides magic?
Once you form a clear picture of what you want your experience of a coven to be, you’ll have an easier time finding one.
How do I find my witches?
Trying to make friends as an adult is hard; trying to make friends who are also witches is harder. Introverts can find it emotionally and physically draining to socialize for an extended period—it zaps their energy. Coupled with a natural shyness and the somewhat taboo nature of witchcraft, it may feel like you have to cast a spell to make friends appear. Luckily, we have one.
Attracting Friendship Spell
- 1 pink candle (for friendship)
- 1 rose quartz (for love of self and others)
Light your candle and hold the rose quartz in your hand, infusing it with your energy.
Then say: With light in my heart and love in my hands, please send me friends who understand. Let our friendship bloom and grow.
After you say the spell, imagine the type of coven you wish to attract, and the emotions you’ll experience once the people who comprise it arrive. With this image solid in your mind, blow out the candle.
Of course, you still have to put in the work to meet people; the spell and your accompanying intention will just make the odds of finding friends more likely.
Get social (media)!
Fortunately, with the power of modern technology, finding your witches has never been easier.
One the easiest way to find friends is through social media. Following witchy accounts on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, or follow witchy blogs can help you explore the community. You can build relationships by commenting and liking posts—all without leaving your house. Websites like Tumblr have a thriving witch community where you can meet like-minded witches to learn about the craft. You can also join a Facebook group for witches. If you’re feeling creative, start your own witch blog and have your coven come to you!
Another way is to ask your friends if they know any witches or are interested in learning about magic. You may be surprised how many witches are in your circle of friends already or can set you up on a friend date.
If you are interested in going outside of your introvert comfort zone, head down to your local occult or crystal shop, psychic, or even take a Reiki healing or Tarot class to meet fellow energy seekers and molders.
But what about social anxiety?
Many introverts also deal with social anxiety, making it difficult to talk to people and form friendships, magical or not. Breathwork, therapy, and optimism can do wonders, but if you want a little extra help, this spelled anxiety tea will get you an extra ounce of social sparkle.
Anxiety Be Gone Tea
- Chamomile Tea (to calm)
- Honey (for sweet thoughts)
- 1 cherry (for love)
Brew your chamomile tea. While that steeps, cut and de-pit your cherry. Stir your honey into the tea clockwise (for intent). As you stir, imagine your anxiety-dissolving away like the honey in your tea. Imagine the best possible outcome for the social situation.
Add in your cherry and continue to stir while saying “I am okay.” Then, enjoy your tea.
Talking to witches (or anyone), gets easier with practice so be gentle with yourself. Don’t force yourself to be in a situation you aren’t comfortable in and give yourself permission to leave when you have had enough socializing for the day. Remember, friendship is supposed to be fun.
Stay safe and have fun.
While covens can be great and enchant your life, it’s important to keep yourself safe—physically and energetically. If you are meeting up with new people, tell your loved ones where you are going. Covens can be a great form of bonding, but if any practiced magic makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, or if you’ve simply had too much socializing for the day, be mindful of your limits and step away.
Talking to witches (or anyone), gets easier with practice so be gentle with yourself as you step outside of your comfort zone. Friendship—and magic—should be fun and fulfilling.