Do you often find yourself wondering what food to cook, how to cook it, and even that dreaded question—how much of it? It’s a daily struggle for all of us, but need not be with our food horoscope. Satisfaction is only a click away!
Aries
Today will be a good one to kick off work projects that have been percolating in your head. But you may need to kick-start the mental machine. Since you're in a percolating mood, fire up a pot of something exotic, from Vietnam perhaps? They don't call it Robusta for nothing. Throw in a couple more than the recommended scoops.
Taurus
By now you should be seeing the sexy results of your diet, right? Right? Okay, it's never too late to start... again. Of course, it may be hard to stay committed. Learn to love the joys of chicken: breasts, thighs and those kooky drumsticks are good, low-fat fun, especially when slathered in barbecue sauce.
Gemini
You have an delightful, endearing even, habit of starting projects that you have no intention of finishing, leaving someone else holding the bag. Isn't that fun? It may be best for you to change your ways, or the resulting uprising could resemble the way you go after a bag of donuts: intense and with much ferocity.
Cancer
You'll want today to be as cozy and familiar as a pair of bedroom slippers. So avoid taking on anything new; the unknown will threaten and scare you. In fact, you'll want to time warp way back to more innocent climes. Look! It's Arnold's, and the Fonz is giving you the thumbs up. Looks like it's gonna be a burger and fries night.
Leo
You'll get thrown into action as soon as the day begins. It'll be rush, rush, rush in the mad dash for... what? Take yourself out of the race long enough to ponder that, a soothing green tea with mint will help the mental stimulation. You could become so enlightened that the sight of the mad herd rushing by may almost seem comical.
Virgo
You must be absolutely sure of everything today; there will be no room for indecisive behavior. Still, you may find yourself doubting your resolve, especially when the choice of dressings is bantered about. French? Ranch? Thousand Island? Honey Mustard? And no, you can't mix them all together!
Libra
There's flirting of one kind, that of furtive eye glances and knowing, alluring looks. And there's flirting of a more overt type, like sending the deluxe raw oyster plate to a coworker you fancy from afar. Imagine the surprise when you saunter over with the horseradish sauce. Imagine the fun! Imagine the restraining orders!
Scorpio
You may feel mental blockage today, and making decisions will be hard. It'll be a constant juggling act; should I stay or should I go? Eventually you may become overwhelmed by too many choices... Regular or honey coated? Smooth or crunchy? Over easy or scrambled?... and the only thing scrambled will be your brain as you curl in the fetal position and weep.
Sagittarius
Others will seek out your sage wisdom to help answer some of their larger questions. Oh wise one, they will ask, how do you manage to keep your youthful figure? But when you explain the merits of a healthy, nutritious diet, they may turn against you, flinging slices of pepperoni pizza like daggers.
Capricorn
You'll crave a big slab of beef tonight, with a football-sized baked potato, a small wading pool full of coleslaw, and butter everywhere! Yet the hostess says you'll have to wait another thirty minutes. A little smooth talkin' will get you in like Flynn.
Aquarius
The food hangover may have you feeling under the weather. So you had better get you mental capabilities together before you hit the office. Omega-3s all the way! Make it a salmon eggs Benedict or just lox and bagels. There'll be something fishy about your diet, if not your breath.
Pisces
You may think you're doing people a favor by absolving them of their debts, but you're teaching them nothing about owning up to responsibilities. So enact a slow payback system, and maybe it doesn't involved money. Having a steady supply of Doritos for three months will be worth its weight in gold.
