Let’s face it—most “teen” horoscopes are written by folks whose ages haven’t ended with “-teen” since 2002 and are subsequently pretty cringe. We can’t guarantee that our daily horo will never be cringe, but we can guarantee that it’ll at least be useful.
Aries
Thoughts and dreams crowd your mind, jostling for attention at the moment, making real life seem pale and unimportant by comparison. Through art or artifice, turn some of those mental images into reality to be happier.
Taurus
Craft a mission statement, because you can be brilliance personified if you figure out what you want and make it sound just right. People listen, approve and wish to help you out, so figure out a path and your first steps.
Gemini
By keeping an open mind and speaking with people clearly and openly, you'll manage to win over new friends and acquaintances everywhere you go. People flock to confident, witty speakers, and you rule the niche.
Cancer
Shifting your style modicum by modicum lets you maintain an image of continuity while continuing to grow, experiment and change moment by moment. Exploring your possibilities inspires you to ever-greater changes.
Leo
Joyful energy spirits you into action at the moment, teleporting you into a sane world of calm, controlled people who actually want to help you through the day. Not only that, but a brief moment of romance heightens your mood.
Virgo
If home turns a bit topsy-turvy at the moment, repeat this mantra to yourself: Be open to new ideas. Incredulousness smacks of naivete, so be as urbane and sophisticated as possible by being cool about the incredible.
Libra
Be crab-like at the moment. Move sideways rather than straight ahead -- get to your goal by lateral movement instead of struggling to climb the nearly vertical slope. Switchbacks were invented for good reasons.
Scorpio
Shifting your routine helps. Throw on evening wear to vacuum or write a letter while atop a tree. Melding unusual combinations brings on new ideas and viewpoints, making you a pinnacle of innovation.
Sagittarius
Charge up your thinking batteries, because you're a learning machine -- taking things in, sorting them out and reassembling the world's input into new, fabulous and beautiful things that will amaze everyone.
Capricorn
A comment about an idea hits you in the heart at the moment, but respond in kind, with rational discussion of the issue. Acting adult and waiting to air your resentment gives you moral high ground and scouting knowledge.
Aquarius
Like exotic skunk-smelling flowers, impossible to ignore but unappealing nonetheless, weird behaviors bloom all day long. Never fear, your proximity keeps them modest and small.
Pisces
Seeking your flock strengthens you at the moment, so crow out and find those who answer back, whether that's about music, animals or poetry. Like-minded folks will infuse you with a sense of belonging and security.
