Let’s face it—most “teen” horoscopes are written by folks whose ages haven’t ended with “-teen” since 2002 and are subsequently pretty cringe. We can’t guarantee that our daily horo will never be cringe, but we can guarantee that it’ll at least be useful.
Aries
Someone you know will be involved in a mishap or conflict today, and you'll be there to hold their hand and help with the details. You'll be a superstar because of your compassionate, witty presence, so be all you can be!
Taurus
If you gather a small bit of cash to go to a concert or art museum, you'll find that it's a fabulous investment. It will bring the possibility of sweet talks and new attachments. No matter what, you'll have a very good time.
Gemini
A well-meaning person will give you totally ridiculous advice today. Keep from laughing out loud or yelling at them, because they can't read your thoughts, and you don't need to explain yourself to a busybody.
Cancer
Different kinds of power may hold you back on ordinary days, but today you'll be able to unravel the flow of power around you. Connect with others in your situation and plan how to rock out soon.
Leo
Really tired? Time to reassess! Carefully evaluate why you're so sleepy so you can shift your life into energetic livability. You have mad skills for such endeavors, so give yourself props and start changing things.
Virgo
You are an inspired soul! Exciting art flows from you, so apply yourself and sculpt those ideas straight into reality. Start a new art project and plan how to get supplies, because you're on the brink of being discovered.
Libra
You may feel like having cotton candy and seeing circus amusements, but make sure you've grabbed your wallet and put on your shoes first. Keep the details in order so you can enjoy the main event's acrobatics.
Scorpio
Like a TV detective, you'll swoop into a friend's life and help sort out a problem, uncovering the plot and making fun of the bad guy. The trick is in the details, so watch closely and don't be afraid to denounce the villain.
Sagittarius
Put in your earplugs, tune out weird comments and discover that you're a dynamo. Speeding through the details and getting everything done will make you feel like an expensive convertible leaving the minivans behind.
Capricorn
Do you have 10 hands today? Because you're able to grasp all the details. A fact-finding mission will lead you to an unlikely place -- a library basement or a travel agent, maybe -- and much will be discovered there.
Aquarius
If somebody tries to pull magic tricks on you and make you believe carpets can fly, you'll see the hidden strings. That sense of reality allows you to deal with the real situations around you.
Pisces
Someone around you may be acting out a part. Your powers of detection will be able to pull the mask off and figure out what's going on underneath. As a secret detective, you'll know who you're really dealing with.
