Horoscopes

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Daily Astroslam

aries

Your face will be shining today, and it's not just because you're prone to looking a little greasy....

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taurus

Refrain from being overtly pompous today. I say 'overtly' because it's inevitable that you'll find...

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gemini

Resist taking a joke too far today. I know how much you like to make people squirm, but you're...

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cancer

No bargain shopping for you today. What gives you the right to think that you can be so extravagant...

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leo

You'll have the confidence of a D-list celebrity today. You may be smiling on the outside, but...

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virgo

You'll feel like a laundry load on a never-ending spin cycle today. Keep your fingers crossed that...

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libra

You'll pretend that someone else's bright idea was your own today. You won't be fooling anyone,...

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scorpio

It may be a casual Friday, but that doesn't mean that you can be uber-relaxed with your boss. You...

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sagittarius

Good fortune will be smiling upon your face. Well, that's until you piss it off. Don't just expect...

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capricorn

People will be way too demanding for your tastes today. Pretend that all of the stress is causing...

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aquarius

No matter how you slice it, you're gonna have to make a compromise today. Don't think of it as...

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pisces

Drama is flying around like a bug that just won't go away. Dodge it for as long as you can, and...

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